I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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