I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
