His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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