She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My dick has a subreddit
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
