I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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