We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We were destined to go to rehab together
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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