A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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