yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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