did you get engaged???
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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