i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
