Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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