and i looked up. we had an audience...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
