he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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