You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
