There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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