i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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