We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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