OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
