Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
