is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
