so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
