We tried having a conversation with our noses.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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