i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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