how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
