Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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