I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
