i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
