They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dignity is for republicans.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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