once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
