No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's never too late to be topless.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
