I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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