There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
