i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
