love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
