"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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