you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
