so that wasnt chicken after all
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
