There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
