I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
