Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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