Yo dont text me then not text me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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