If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
