I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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