Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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