Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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