I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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