you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
wow bdsm is so cute
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
