enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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