Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
