I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
