your thong is hanging out like whoa
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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