If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
