sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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