I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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