You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
