i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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