Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
