our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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