Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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