You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
