im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
