We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
