"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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