dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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