Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He felt like a one man threesome
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
